Horse's Butt
(A collection of proverbs and sayings & every other funny thing Chaplain Bob has said one or more times in the pulpit! He might not have been credited with originating them; but the point is he sure did say them from the pulpit!)
Chaplain Bob has long said, "People will get all bent out of shape and offended over his shock treatments during his sermons from the pulpit. But then they will go out and watch a foul mouthed movie from the video store after church while they eat Fried Pastor for lunch!"
Horses's Butt
There
are only two kinds of people in this world: There's the horse's butt who knows
he's a horse's butt. And then there's the horse's butt who doesn't know he's a
horse's butt; but everybody else around him sure knows he's one!
Do you want to be Happy?
Do
you want to be happy or do you want to be right? Because if you have to be
right all the time you are going to end up unhappy and all alone!
Backbiters
Anything
you say—can and will be used against you...
Trust not the flesh
If
I don't trust me (and my flesh;) Why should I trust you? (and your flesh!)
None good
There's
none good—no not one!
God judges me
I'm
not aware of anything I'm doing wrong; but that doesn't validate me—It's God
who judges me. (1 Cor 4:4/Message Bible)
Self-Righteous
What
you think of me is not my problem; What I think of you is!
Definition of insanity
Keep
doing things the same old way as always and expecting different results!
Who do you want to be?
You
are today who you wanted to be
yesterday; You are today where
you wanted to be yesterday!
Titles
If
I have to tell you who I am, then I'm not that person!
Excuses
You'll
go only as far as your excuse.
Opinions
Everyone's
got an opinion; just like everyone has a Bocachi (Place where organic
fertilizer comes out!)
Spiritual Power
Most
Christians don't have enough power to blow the fuzz off a peach!
Offenses
Have
as much to do with this world as a dead man! (Col
Failures
Wherever
I'm full of troubles is where I am not full of God—In God's presence there is
fullness!
Counseling
The
presenting problem is never the problem. What someone says the problem they are
having is not the problem. Listen long enough and you will hear it loud and
clear. It's that area where they can't trust God in!
As A Man Thinks
Overthrow
the government of your head (Proverbs 3:5)
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